Cupcakes and Sweet Security

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A month into Al-Anon I find out that we are losing our job that we wanted to keep until retirement. My best friend and I are working as security officers and the job we currently have is ending. This was shocking.

It has nothing to do with our job performance and we’ve had so many kudos that we thought we were secure for the 5 years that we will still need to work.

That has nothing to do with reality does it? Secure? What was I basing my security on? Approval, work ethic, job performance, personal relationships, cup cakes…

Yes, cup cakes along with brownies, goober cake and peanut butter cookies. The guys we work for all love to eat! I love to bake. It was a match made in heaven (or at least Texas).

But, they’re stacking our rig in a grave yard for drilling equipment and the roughnecks we’ve worked with for nearly a year will be scattered like chaff across the Texas Eagleford Shale territory.

The oil company who uses our security service will not be needing us, of course. Perhaps this company will find us another assignment, perhaps there won’t be one available for a while … or ever. Our supplier that we sub-contract for will try to find a placement and in the meantime we will be waiting in one of their equipment yards, hopefully. This time of year there are a lot of Winter Texans waiting for an assignment. Some have parked their rigs and are waiting in motels because there’s a shortage of full service hookups in the yards right now. We had money in savings but that was earmarked for taxes… I’m thankful it’s there.

It occurs to me that I’m getting a hands-on experience with Step One, here. I am powerless over people, places and things. Approval does not mean security. Good work ethic, while necessary to my feeling like I am productive, doesn’t mean security. Personal relationships, while satisfactory also doesn’t equal security. I’m slow to see that my only security is in admitting I’m powerless. Yup. Powerless over people, places and things.

The 12 Steps of Codependents Anonymous

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Heidi's Signature

I’m in the process of trying to find an online sponsor for Al-Anon or CoDa. I would appreciate prayers or suggestions.

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