This is in response to the Normie question from my Saturday post.
Most alcoholics have a desire to be unique. I thought I was unique because I was suicidal or because I was clinically depressed. Within the first week I knew I was wrong. Almost everyone around the table had suffered depression and suicidal thoughts. Many, like me, had actually tried to end their own lives. So much for feeling unique.
Though we have a lot in common, we alcoholics, I find we each have a story that is uniquely ours. I have come to appreciate the stories of fellow alcoholics.When someone tells their story it is often called ‘sharing their experience, strength and hope’.
My story starts with my first drink. I was 21, which was the legal age for drinking in Iowa. I didn’t drink earlier because it was illegal. Right there I part ways with most people, alcoholics or not. I was very concerned with following the rules. One of my high school nicknames was Prude, so you can see I didn’t believe in throwing my toe over the lines. My best friend in college called me Goody Two Shoes, If nothing else, I was consistent.
That first drink was beer. I liked it. My boyfriend had two six packs in the dorm room and offered me a drink. I don’t remember ever being interested in alcohol. It was a non-factor for me until then.
I’d served drinks at the Cougarville Super Club in Cross Lake, Minnesota that summer, so, even though my folks didn’t drink, it’s not like I had never been around it. The bar tender had tried to get me to sample stuff all summer and the owner had offered me free drinks at closing, but I didn’t have any interest in it…until I tried it.
I liked that first beer so much that I had a second and after that I remember everyone laughing at me because I liked beer! I was great entertainment until I finished a six-pack on my own. Entertaining…then a problem (a drinking pattern that would continue for many years.)
I’d never seen the AA questionnaire, but I had just run into the issue of question # 3.
I liked the feeling, I liked the taste and I couldn’t stop once I started drinking. Major red flag for alcoholism.