I’ve been talking to someone who just got out of an abusive relationship. What amazes me is that she’s out because she finally stopped listening to paid professionals, stopped listening to critical people in her life and started listening to God. She stopped asking everyone else for input and became her own counselor.
I do not mean that paid professionals are not of value, just question what you’re learning.
I do not mean that you shouldn’t listen to outside opinions, but that you should be judicious.
I do not mean that if you are in an abusive relationship, you should instantly hit the door running.
What I do mean is that we all have the opportunity to find truth. If we seek truth, then I believe God will not fail to answer with it. My friend desperately wanted to see the truth. Truth about herself, her significant other and about God and His love for her.
You don’t need much more than that to start on the path toward becoming your own counselor. I did it when no one believed I was an alcoholic. Others have done it when they know in their gut that something is wrong. Even when no one will listen. That’s exciting!
This person I’ve known for decades had gradually become a brittle and angry dried-up woman, nearly pruned to the ground by criticism and neglect. I have watched with a dropped jaw as her life has come back from that stump of existence, sprouting up with beautiful progress and full buds of promise. She’s making the kind of progress that you only see in the heat of summer from plants seeded into rich soil. Daily there is growth. Occasionally a bug gets onto the blooms but she picks it off! She’s a survivor—the inspirational kind.
God loves us beyond comprehension. If you are being abused, He is not honored by your suffering, despite what you may have been told. God is love, not hate. Hate will lie and one of the most twisted untruths is that God is perversely glorified by continued misery. Not my God.
Unlike many who have just escaped an abusive situation, she wasn’t going to walk back into the same predictable trap. I know why that won’t happen. It can’t happen when you are packin’. She has protection. She’s packin’ the truth!
Deception has little chance if bulls-eyed by truth. Sometimes when confronted with the transformation of a victim in the truth-seeking mode instead of the survival mode, an abuser will back off. It’s easier to reassert their own self-image by finding another victim they can deceive. Not always. Abusers will sometimes kill to silence the truth. Law enforcement knows that domestic disturbances can be and often are, lethal.
No matter what your current circumstances, you can start becoming your own counselor by seeking. Seek the truth. God honors that.
When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. ~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p 106
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