Unique Self: Part 3 Question Yourself

B. You accept who you are by beginning to find your unique self.

Before AA, I would have identified with this quote:

Many of us go through life not clear about what we want but pretty sure this isn’t it. ~ Janet Hagberg and Richard Leider

One way to start finding out what we want from life is simply fast forward to the end. What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

I want to be remembered for being a good friend and a compassionate woman with a heart for those who struggle. Along with that, I also want to die sober without ever having taken another drink after March 21, 2007.

Another way is to question ourselves.The following is an inventory that I wrote for myself when I was trying to explore who I am with one of my friends. Our hopes, our dreams, our desires are all a part of our uniqueness. I hope this helps you put your uniqueness into words. What are the things you absolutely must have in this life in order to feel that you have lived the life you were meant to live?

What I What I Want In Life

  1. The chance to ___

  2. Time for ___

  3. To see ___

  4. To experience ___

  5. To talk to ___

  6. To listen to ___

  7. To sit ___

  8. To hear ___

  9. The freedom to ___

  10. The inspiration to ___

  11. Take occasional ___

  12. To frequently ___

Go ahead. Try doing the exercise. You might even be surprised at the answers that first pop into your head. One person took the inventory twice: once for reactions and once for thought-out answers. Through the years, some of my answers would have changed.

One way we lose track of our unique selves is that we don’t take into account how we change as we grow older.

Take # 6. What I liked at 20 isn’t remotely what I like now. I would have said I like to listen to very loud Simon and Garfunkel, in my 30’s it was loud Billy Joel. Now? Very loud bird songs and nature music, but only loud because I don’t hear as well anymore. Go figure.

Take # 5 Who do you like to talk to or who would you like to talk to? I would always have answered that with God. When I was very little, I played on a large moss-speckled rock in the woods just out of sight of my mom at the campsite south of Ely in Minnesota. God and I played house with pine cone food and leaves for dishes. My idea, I’m pretty sure, but i talked a lot, listened a lot… it was great fun. Now I call it prayer and meditation.