Unique Self: Part 4 Some Answers

B. You accept who you are by beginning to find your unique self

Yesterday we looked at some questions to help us learn a bit more about our unique identity.

Here are my results:

What I want In Life

The chance to research
Time for prayer
To see green growing things
To experience joy with peace
To talk to friends
To listen to God
To sit in a window seat
To hear the sounds of birds
The freedom to read
The inspiration to write
Take occasional trips
To frequently have change
To feel serenity
To eat the 4 B’s (bread, butter, brown sugar and beans)

How did others answer?

Interestingly, I heard from both my 7^th grade boyfriend who wanted to experience firing a 1928 Thompson sub-machine gun and my high school boyfriend who wanted to fly his plane every week. The one colleague who responded said she would like to experience one day of being pain-free. I added her to my prayer list. A friend from junior high said she would like to spend time with a family member without having to be nervous about it. Someone from my family wants to frequently eat really good food (she’s a gourmet cook) and have enough time to exercise the calories off her thighs. Another friend wrote she would like to listen to many people tell their stories.

Ready for one more question? When you’re on your deathbed, if you have a chance to reflect and don’t die instantly, what are you going to say to those who still seem to have plenty of time left on this earth? I wish I had spent more time …What?

Will it be anything that you did today or yesterday?

Socrates is the one who said, A life unexamined is not worth living.

The value of these exercises is taking the opportunity to look at what direction you would like your life to take, considering your uniqueness.

My father died recently and that makes my mortality harder to ignore. I’ve never dreaded dying but I’ve struggled with letting God’s timing decide. It seems to me that the opposite reactions, huge fear of death and suicidal tendencies, are both an expression of living a life we’ve fallen into instead of actively considering who we are…who we were created to become. I want to live a considered, purposeful life, one that God intends for the unique me.

Trying to make myself happy is no longer my goal, neither is trying to make others happy. I find I’m just naturally happiest when I conform my will to God’s, and those around me seem happier then, as well.

We had not even prayed rightly. We had always said ‘Grant me my wishes’ instead of ‘Thy will be done.’ ~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p 32. step 2