Angry Birds Words 6: Yellow Birds

The yellow, third bird is the kamikaze one. When you tap on it, it will accelerate and hit whatever object is in front with more force.

For the Black Bomb Birds, those who choose to react to frustration with abusive words or actions, I agree with the pigs. Hide in the grass, or go to a safe place and don your hard hat. It isn’t possible to reason with an unreasonable person. Set limits to your interactions and stay safe.

For Angry Birds like the Yellow Bird, there are some communication strategies to choose from. There are almost as many strategies as there are personalities. Again, I’m going to share what has worked for me and I’m writing in context of talking to an angry addict or an angry Al-Anon.

I am comparing the Angry Yellow Bird with bullies.

Yellow Bird Bullies show up in a number of guises. You can recognize them by their overt behavior: uncompromising, perfectionistic, manipulative, intimidating, and critical.

Strategies:

Listen: pay close attention. Bullies can do a lot of emotional damage. You need to know the demands and the threats. Usually it’s both.
Reflect: summarize what they are threatening to do, using as little emotion as possible. Just be sure they know you’ve heard them, even though they do not act in a way that seems to deserve respect. You will feel better about yourself if you are respectful.
Be Direct: Present your views calmly and directly. They do not get innuendo! Follow-up with a written copy if it’s really important that they hear you.
Set Limits: If they begin to escalate into abuse, suggest meeting later. Do not tap a Yellow Bird bully! Their explosive power only increases if you start to return the threats!

Usually, with a bully, we have to curb our natural fight/flight reactions. This means resisting the urge to strike back or role over. This is playground behavior that you’re dealing with. If you can just imagine this person in grade school situations, you can avoid joining in the recess brawl. Be the adult. Bullies are used to getting their own way. In the end, you may have to reconcile yourself with agreeing to disagree.

In the AA program, those who do the work, get the gifts. One of the gifts of the program is humility and a clearer picture of ourselves. But it has to come from doing the steps. I’ve never yet heard anyone give credit for humility to their family or friends! God shows us the truth when we’re willing to accept it.

We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God. ~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions 2011, p 76