That’s Step 4, perhaps the scariest few words Bill W strung together in this 12 Step program.
It seems to me that he could have used a little marketing tip. (Don’t scare people who are depressed, anxious and suicidal, who already hate themselves and their life.)
Step 4 by Heidi would read: Made a quick list of some of our troubles and those who were really to blame for our drinking.
People would not get hung up on my Step 4. They wouldn’t go back to drinking or using just because they were too afraid of making their quick list. They wouldn’t procrastinate. Why they’d probably just jot it down on a napkin during their 2nd or 3rd meeting and hand it in. They’d be done!
Have I convinced you? No?
If you want to do it right. If you just can’t live with yourself unless you do a thorough job of it and do it by the book, then you might want to try this little worksheet that I put together based on the leadership of two old timers named Joe and Charlie. I’m not an old-timer, but I’ve had lots of practice designing worksheets! (I bought 4 books on how to do this step before I had the confidence to start.) You don’t have to yield to perfectionism or procrastination to do Step 4.
My form is simple, it’s thorough and better yet, you can do it even if you’re still afraid. What Bill didn’t explain is that you don’t have to be fearless to get started. That happens later… much later, after you discover it’s not that scary after all.
The Step 4 Not Scary Resentments Worksheet
*PS: Of course there’s really no shortcut to taking the 4th. This worksheet is just placing the guidelines from the book into a format we can follow more easily. Here’s how mine started. Have you done the 4th?