Growing up, we never had alcohol in the house. When I needed a definition of an alcoholic, I Googled it, of course.
There are two qualifiers for being a real alcoholic. I meet both:
1. Even when given sufficient reason (loss of family, job or health, etc), I cannot quit forever by using my own will power.
2. Once I take a single drink, I cannot always guarantee I’ll stop with that. Even if I’ve promised myself I will.
For years, I fooled myself into thinking I wasn’t one because I could put it aside for long periods of time. But I never could entirely give it up. Whenever I began again, it would be a short time before I was once more drinking insanely. I was an alcoholic because I had lost the power of choice and the possibility of control. No human power (including myself) could keep me from drinking. I needed a spiritual solution. Thank you, AA for the Steps which removed the barriers between me and God and now I no longer have the obsession nor compulsion to drink alcohol.