Baby Stepping Fourth: Sexual Harms Part 1

We’re ready for the last part of the 4th Step inventory. We will see that some of the things that we have done caused hurt to ourselves and also to other people. If I hurt others, sexually or otherwise, it interferes with the communication between me and others; between me and God…like a bad radio signal:static and screeching.

The last element of the Fourth Step by the textbook, Alcoholics Anonymous, is an inventory on harms done to others, with an emphasis on sexual conduct and the emotional damage of harms in relationships. Take a deep breath and let’s git’r done! Use the corresponding Not Scary Worksheet of Harms, or create your own in a notebook.

Assignment Part 1 on sexual or other harms:

Column 1: List those you’ve harmed. When finished with all of column 1, then  do column 2.

Column 2: Briefly (19 words or fewer) write what happened.  Ask yourself What did I do that harmed others?

  • List actions or inaction, whether intentional or not, write it out in 19 or fewer words
  • Identify feelings evoked in them or their loved ones: jealousy, suspicion, bitterness

Find a place that is secure; keep this work in a safe place, but git’r done. Going through the Steps has changed the lives of millions. This part of the inventory will help you cut down on the static, the white noise in your head and the voices from the past that taunt you. Harms we’ve inflicted on ourselves and others twist our thinking.

The 4th Step is an absolute necessity in opening the communication with God and even with yourself. When we set aside our fear and do the work, we find amazing love in His grace. First the work, then the peaceful communion with Him and others. Don’t miss this miracle!

NOTE: For all the Baby Step suggestions click on BABY STEPS FOR THE 4TH STEP at the top of any page. The links for all inventory charts are at the bottom of each page.