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Tag Archives: self-talk

Little Fists Solution

2020by Heidi

Little Fists happen when I start to criticize myself.

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Step 2 Tips

STOP…GO…STOP!

2020by Heidi

So what do we do if we can’t trust our thinking?

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12 Steps, Step 1 Application

Step 4: Column 5 Peeling Back False Beliefs

2020by Heidi

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents absorbing survival skills: some good, some bad.

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12 Steps, Step 4, Step 4 Tips

Step 4: Column 5 Character Defects and The Foul Four

2020by Heidi

Putting out of our minds the wrongs other had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.

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12 Steps, Step 4, Step 4 Tips

Step 4: Column 3 Buddy Burner Gut Ignites

2020by Heidi

I’m a Fighter from a long line of Fighters. I don’t know what happens to you when you’re angry…

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12 Steps, Step 4, Step 4 Tips

Step 4: Column 2 The Cause Knot

2020by Heidi

Now that we have the first column naming people, institutions and principles we can move on to the second column.  (Refer to the Not Scary Resentments Worksheet of Step 4 in […]

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12 Steps, Step 4, Step 4 Tips

Step 4: Column 1 Resentments, The Number One Offender

2020by Heidi

Take a good look at anything that riles you. What are your pet peeves?

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12 Steps, Step 4, Step 4 Tips

Step 3: What Grows in the Dark?

2020by Heidi

What keeps you awake at night?

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12 Steps, Spirituality, Step 3 Tips

Step 3: The Key To Making Decisions

2020by Heidi

Step 3 is not the action of turning our will and lives over, it’s deciding to do so. Let’s get specific. Which decision making elements do you usually use?

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12 Steps, Step 3 Tips

Step 3: Whistling In The Dark

2020by Heidi

Do I miss drinking? Sometimes. I miss it to the extent that I’m still insane. I was not created for self-destruction but alcohol is a one way ticket to that insanity. It waits.

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12 Steps, Spirituality, Step 3 Tips

Step 3: I Can Skip This if I’m a Christian, Right?

2020by Heidi

The question I should have asked when I dropped into AA was, Is there a difference between step 3 and salvation for a Christian?

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12 Steps, Step 3 Application

Is Your God Silent? Are you?

2020by Heidi

Before I got sober at the age of 55, I was trapped by an ice storm at an abbey near Dubuque, in NE Iowa. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. […]

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Spirituality, Step 3 Tips

Step 4: Fearless Moral Inventory Shortcut

2020by Heidi

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. That’s Step 4, perhaps the scariest few words Bill W strung together in this 12 Step program. It seems to me […]

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12 Steps, Step 4 Tips

No Disk

2020by Heidi

My addiction started harmlessly.

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Sober Living, Step 1 Application

Victim Veins Revisited

2020by Heidi

You call it love. For years, all I wrote was bad, tragic and tearful poetry. Then life got better because I got sober and I gave up poetry. Suddenly, this […]

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12 Steps, Step 12 Application

After Stepping Fourth!

2020by Heidi

The truth will set you free, to the extent that you recognize it and cooperate with it.

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12 Steps, Step 5 Tips

Listen With Your Eyes

2020by Heidi

Discerning reality is no easy task for addicts. Here’s a hint: Listen with your eyes. It works. When a person or activity is pulling me back into romancing of the […]

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Addiction and Relationships, Relating to Addicts

Lucky Unlucky Addicts

2020by Heidi

The following comment from Resentment Rats is too wonderful to leave in the archives of comments: So much lays beneath what we can easily see in ourselves. And how many […]

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Addiction and Relationships, Spirituality

Prison Of Self

2020by Heidi

The above picture is from a recent trip to Scotland. The gate makes me think of how my old thinking has kept me imprisoned. I took this picture during a […]

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12 Steps, Step 4 Application

Fear Epiphany: Pieces of My Peace

2020by Heidi

I had an epiphany yesterday. I’ve recently bought a new fifth wheel and requisite dually. Along with that comes more room to live and more financial pressure. (Did you catch […]

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Spirituality, Step 12 Application

My Lower Power

2020by Heidi

I don’t feel like writing today so I’m going to. I’m going to write. I didn’t feel like walking this morning either, so I did. I walked. I’ve been doing […]

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Spirituality, Step 10 Application

Forgiveness: One Weird Old Tip

2020by Heidi

If rejection were a mask it would be cruel, soulless and rigid: dead eyes and a mouth locked into a sneer.

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Spirituality, Step 9 Tips

HFA: Shhhh

2020by Heidi

I’m an HFA (High-Functioning Alcoholic). Who knew? No one. Sometimes that’s the point. Secrecy, silent suffering, and deadly choices all whirl towards the alcoholic drain that becomes the high-functioning alcoholic’s […]

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Addiction and Relationships, Relating to Addicts

Angry Birds 5: Blue Birds

2020by Heidi

Let’s compare the Angry Blue Bird to the negative personality. The Blue Bird is capable of scatter-shot attacks. Tapping this bird during its trajectory, splits it into three. This allows […]

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Relationship Skills

AA and Love Detector Phone App

2020by Heidi

There’s a ‘Love Detector’ application for my smart phone. It took 20 seconds to have it downloaded and ready to use. A red screen appears and asks, “Are you in […]

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Sober Living, Step 12 Application

Fudgesicles and Fear

2020by Heidi

So when AA suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Both his pride and his […]

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12 Steps, Step 4 Application

Know This

Featuredby Heidi

I’m a recovered alcoholic, living full-time in an RV and have a bread machine in the Jeep. Why would anyone listen to me?

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Spirituality, Step 3 Application

Batter-y-up!

2020by Heidi

Given that the word why is used over 90 times in the Big Book of AA and in the 12×12, I assume it’s a big question for a lot of us.

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Step 2 Tips

Stop! Go!

2020by Heidi

Can I even think my way out of a paper bag? Nope.

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Sober Living, Step 6 Tips

Unhappiness: Part 2 Gerbil Wheel

2020by Heidi

I was focusing on the problem, not the solution.

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Step 6 Tips

Unique Self: Part 8 The Little Engine Meets Reality

2020by Heidi

I was deceived by the Little Engine That Could!

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Sober Living, Step 3 Application

Unique Self: Part 7 – I Think Not

2020by Heidi

When I was little there was a book and a song about the Little Engine That Could. I realize the intent was to eliminate negative self-talk. But AA has taught […]

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Sober Living, Unique Self Series

Unique Self: Part 4 Some Answers

2020by Heidi

B. You accept who you are by beginning to find your unique self Yesterday we looked at some questions to help us learn a bit more about our unique identity. […]

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Sober Living, Unique Self Series

Unique Self: Part 3 Question Yourself

2020by Heidi

What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

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Sober Living, Unique Self Series

The Unique Self: Part 2, I Need…I Need

2020by Heidi

I watched What About Bob? The very well-delivered line ‘I want, I want, I want…I need, I need, I need’ struck home with me.

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12 Steps, Unique Self Series

Unique Self: Part 1 This Addict’s Dark Side

2020by Heidi

I desperately wanted answers to life. I knew only God had them but how would I get them?

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Unique Self Series

Stop! Go to Step 3

2020by Heidi

I don’t think it matters whether your life path winds between empty bottles, baggies and syringes or is decorated by framed degrees and certificates of completion—or both. The message of […]

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12 Steps, Step 3 Tips

Ask The Right Questions To Get The Right Answers

2020by Heidi

During my entire life I asked, “What’s wrong with me?”

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12 Steps, Step 2 Application

Step 1: Grieving

2020by Heidi

A.  You accept where you are by facing the reality of your situation. Do you agree that facing reality can be like grieving? I’ve had friends grieve the loss of […]

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12 Steps, Step 1 Application

Irish Serenity Prayer: Part 2 Battle for Liberty

2020by Heidi

Our homes have been battle grounds many an evening. ~ AA p 105 As I stated previously, besides being an alcoholic in recovery, I am a survivor of abuse. Therefore, […]

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Sober Living, Step 3 Tips

Irish Serenity Prayer: Part 1 Battle for Liberty

2020by Heidi

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not […]

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Spirituality, Step 3 Tips

Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 4: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

2020by Heidi

Lies and deceitful games have nothing to do with the shared reality and richness of intimacy. True intimacy in relationships is reserved for people who are determined to hear and […]

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Addiction and Relationships, Sober Living

Hitting The Panic Button

2020by Heidi

I then did what any self-respecting mom would do. I called the kid.

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Humor, Sober Living, Step 6 Application

Become Your Own Counselor Part 3: Seek Solitude and Silence

2020by Heidi

This picture is one Debbie took at OLM in Iowa while she was on retreat at the Stone House. Once you’ve  located your retreat spot and made reservations, there are […]

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Be Your Own Counselor, Spirituality

Become Your Own Counselor: Part 1 Lock and Load with Truth

2020by Heidi

I’ve been talking to someone who just got out of an abusive relationship. What amazes me is that she’s out because she finally stopped listening to paid professionals, stopped listening […]

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Be Your Own Counselor, Spirituality

Fear: Courage on Steroids

2020by Heidi

Don’t mess with me, buddy!

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Spirituality, Step 4 Application, Step 6 Tips

Alcoholic Relapse Starts With The Cookie

2020by Heidi

I realize now that picking up a drink isn’t where the relapse starts.

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Sober Living, Step 10 Tips

Step 9: Thunder

2020by Heidi

The program works. It really does. It works even when I’m not doing it perfectly.

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Step 9 Application

Step 8: Amends and Amen

2020by Heidi

I’m not going to write about this. Am I? I

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Step 8 Tips

Ceased Fighting

2020by Heidi

I can choose to let people say things that I don’t agree with or I don’t like and just let it go.

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Step 10 Application

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