Little Fists Solution
Little Fists happen when I start to criticize myself.
Tag Archives: self-talk
STOP…GO…STOP!
So what do we do if we can’t trust our thinking?
Step 4: Column 5 Peeling Back False Beliefs
I spent a lot of time with my grandparents absorbing survival skills: some good, some bad.
Step 4: Column 5 Character Defects and The Foul Four
Putting out of our minds the wrongs other had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.
Step 4: Column 3 Buddy Burner Gut Ignites
I’m a Fighter from a long line of Fighters. I don’t know what happens to you when you’re angry…
Step 4: Column 2 The Cause Knot
Now that we have the first column naming people, institutions and principles we can move on to the second column. (Refer to the Not Scary Resentments Worksheet of Step 4 in […]
Step 4: Column 1 Resentments, The Number One Offender
Take a good look at anything that riles you. What are your pet peeves?
Step 3: What Grows in the Dark?
What keeps you awake at night?
Step 3: The Key To Making Decisions
Step 3 is not the action of turning our will and lives over, it’s deciding to do so. Let’s get specific. Which decision making elements do you usually use?
Step 3: Whistling In The Dark
Do I miss drinking? Sometimes. I miss it to the extent that I’m still insane. I was not created for self-destruction but alcohol is a one way ticket to that insanity. It waits.
Step 3: I Can Skip This if I’m a Christian, Right?
The question I should have asked when I dropped into AA was, Is there a difference between step 3 and salvation for a Christian?
Is Your God Silent? Are you?
Before I got sober at the age of 55, I was trapped by an ice storm at an abbey near Dubuque, in NE Iowa. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. […]
Step 4: Fearless Moral Inventory Shortcut
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. That’s Step 4, perhaps the scariest few words Bill W strung together in this 12 Step program. It seems to me […]
No Disk
My addiction started harmlessly.
Victim Veins Revisited
You call it love. For years, all I wrote was bad, tragic and tearful poetry. Then life got better because I got sober and I gave up poetry. Suddenly, this […]
After Stepping Fourth!
The truth will set you free, to the extent that you recognize it and cooperate with it.
Listen With Your Eyes
Discerning reality is no easy task for addicts. Here’s a hint: Listen with your eyes. It works. When a person or activity is pulling me back into romancing of the […]
Lucky Unlucky Addicts
The following comment from Resentment Rats is too wonderful to leave in the archives of comments: So much lays beneath what we can easily see in ourselves. And how many […]
Prison Of Self
The above picture is from a recent trip to Scotland. The gate makes me think of how my old thinking has kept me imprisoned. I took this picture during a […]
Fear Epiphany: Pieces of My Peace
I had an epiphany yesterday. I’ve recently bought a new fifth wheel and requisite dually. Along with that comes more room to live and more financial pressure. (Did you catch […]
My Lower Power
I don’t feel like writing today so I’m going to. I’m going to write. I didn’t feel like walking this morning either, so I did. I walked. I’ve been doing […]
Forgiveness: One Weird Old Tip
If rejection were a mask it would be cruel, soulless and rigid: dead eyes and a mouth locked into a sneer.
HFA: Shhhh
I’m an HFA (High-Functioning Alcoholic). Who knew? No one. Sometimes that’s the point. Secrecy, silent suffering, and deadly choices all whirl towards the alcoholic drain that becomes the high-functioning alcoholic’s […]
Angry Birds 5: Blue Birds
Let’s compare the Angry Blue Bird to the negative personality. The Blue Bird is capable of scatter-shot attacks. Tapping this bird during its trajectory, splits it into three. This allows […]
AA and Love Detector Phone App
There’s a ‘Love Detector’ application for my smart phone. It took 20 seconds to have it downloaded and ready to use. A red screen appears and asks, “Are you in […]
Fudgesicles and Fear
So when AA suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Both his pride and his […]
Know This
I’m a recovered alcoholic, living full-time in an RV and have a bread machine in the Jeep. Why would anyone listen to me?
Batter-y-up!
Given that the word why is used over 90 times in the Big Book of AA and in the 12×12, I assume it’s a big question for a lot of us.
Stop! Go!
Can I even think my way out of a paper bag? Nope.
Unhappiness: Part 2 Gerbil Wheel
I was focusing on the problem, not the solution.
Unique Self: Part 8 The Little Engine Meets Reality
I was deceived by the Little Engine That Could!
Unique Self: Part 7 – I Think Not
When I was little there was a book and a song about the Little Engine That Could. I realize the intent was to eliminate negative self-talk. But AA has taught […]
Unique Self: Part 4 Some Answers
B. You accept who you are by beginning to find your unique self Yesterday we looked at some questions to help us learn a bit more about our unique identity. […]
Unique Self: Part 3 Question Yourself
What do you want to be remembered for when you die?
The Unique Self: Part 2, I Need…I Need
I watched What About Bob? The very well-delivered line ‘I want, I want, I want…I need, I need, I need’ struck home with me.
Unique Self: Part 1 This Addict’s Dark Side
I desperately wanted answers to life. I knew only God had them but how would I get them?
Stop! Go to Step 3
I don’t think it matters whether your life path winds between empty bottles, baggies and syringes or is decorated by framed degrees and certificates of completion—or both. The message of […]
Ask The Right Questions To Get The Right Answers
During my entire life I asked, “What’s wrong with me?”
Step 1: Grieving
A. You accept where you are by facing the reality of your situation. Do you agree that facing reality can be like grieving? I’ve had friends grieve the loss of […]
Irish Serenity Prayer: Part 2 Battle for Liberty
Our homes have been battle grounds many an evening. ~ AA p 105 As I stated previously, besides being an alcoholic in recovery, I am a survivor of abuse. Therefore, […]
Irish Serenity Prayer: Part 1 Battle for Liberty
When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 4: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Lies and deceitful games have nothing to do with the shared reality and richness of intimacy. True intimacy in relationships is reserved for people who are determined to hear and […]
Hitting The Panic Button
I then did what any self-respecting mom would do. I called the kid.
Become Your Own Counselor Part 3: Seek Solitude and Silence
This picture is one Debbie took at OLM in Iowa while she was on retreat at the Stone House. Once you’ve located your retreat spot and made reservations, there are […]
Become Your Own Counselor: Part 1 Lock and Load with Truth
I’ve been talking to someone who just got out of an abusive relationship. What amazes me is that she’s out because she finally stopped listening to paid professionals, stopped listening […]
Fear: Courage on Steroids
Don’t mess with me, buddy!
Alcoholic Relapse Starts With The Cookie
I realize now that picking up a drink isn’t where the relapse starts.
Step 9: Thunder
The program works. It really does. It works even when I’m not doing it perfectly.
Step 8: Amends and Amen
I’m not going to write about this. Am I? I
Ceased Fighting
I can choose to let people say things that I don’t agree with or I don’t like and just let it go.
Good Life 
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