Dark Holidays? This One’s For You
Ready for a different kind of holiday? This worked for me.
Category Archives: Addiction and Relationships
You Don’t Say (to an addict)
When tied is a good thing.
Functional Alcoholic Signs
It’s so tricky to diagnose that I had friends telling me I couldn’t be alcoholic, even though I knew I was.
Listen With Your Eyes
Discerning reality is no easy task for addicts. Here’s a hint: Listen with your eyes. It works. When a person or activity is pulling me back into romancing of the […]
Lucky Unlucky Addicts
The following comment from Resentment Rats is too wonderful to leave in the archives of comments: So much lays beneath what we can easily see in ourselves. And how many […]
Should You Tell Children About Alcoholism in the Family?
I recently read a blog entry about an alcoholic death of a grandparent. The blogger, whom I respect for his honesty and vulnerability, asked if the grandchild (his daughter) should […]
HFA: Shhhh
I’m an HFA (High-Functioning Alcoholic). Who knew? No one. Sometimes that’s the point. Secrecy, silent suffering, and deadly choices all whirl towards the alcoholic drain that becomes the high-functioning alcoholic’s […]
Have They Got Your Back or Do You Have to Watch Your Back?
Addicts who are still using or drinking naturally create a life of chaos for themselves and others. Relationships narrow into a posture of defensiveness, wariness and life itself takes on […]
Relationship Reality: Part 1 The Not-So-Musical Triangle
A. You accept where you are by facing the reality of your situation. Part of facing our reality is looking at the conversations we’re having. As addicts, we’re naturally drawn […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 7: Confusion VS Harmony
Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 6: Manipulating the Ingredients
Welcome to life with an alcoholic! Life with a dry (not sober) alcoholic is a challenge. I should know, I’m a recovering alcoholic and I’m still a challenge. Before I […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 5: Conflicting Recipes
If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wishes, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 4: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Lies and deceitful games have nothing to do with the shared reality and richness of intimacy. True intimacy in relationships is reserved for people who are determined to hear and […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 3: You’re Getting Warmer
In the previous post, I compared heat in bread making to honest communication in relationships. The yeast could be comparable to love and commitment. Without the right amount of heat, […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 2: Why the Drama?
I never made a lot of bread until I got a machine to knead it for me because I have very weak arms. It is not fun to knead bread […]
Alcoholics and Half-baked Relationships Part 1: Recipe
I love to make bread. If it didn’t stick to my belly, I’d bake all the time.
Freeze Dry the Drunk
If I wanted to stay angry with myself and hostile to those around me, I could have just kept drinking.
Why Do I Tell People I’m an Alcoholic?
When I think of alcoholics I think of the ones around the tables. I realize you might not see us like I do. Maybe your mental picture of an alcoholic […]
The Fighting Alcoholic Meets The Cowardly Lion
At first, I thought of really cutting and accurate remarks that I could make to her in my defense and then I surprised myself by realizing that I don’t want to do that.
Saying Good-bye to My Father Who Never Drank
My Dad is lying in a hospital bed in Brainerd, MN. Just that is enough to cause concern about his survival. Small towns and hospitals—need I say more! Mom left […]
The Sensitive Side of an Alcoholic
When I was 4, I wanted to stay home and cook for my Dad when I grew up. I probably only remember that because my mom found it to be […]
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