Painted on a back road by a 16-year-old the night she left an abusive boyfriend.

Baby Steps of Step 4 Fears, column 3

If we are unaware of how fear affects our lives, we will continue to let it influence our choices and haunt our thoughts. Ridding myself of most of my fear has been one of the truly miraculous benefits of working the Steps. I’m passionate about helping others escape the claws of fear and find similar freedom. Take a chance…live your life!

Go back to Part 1 here.

What to document

Column 3 assignment: List in column 3 the area of self that is affected by your fear. Regardless of where the fear originated, whether it was something passed down from our family or whether it started with a traumatic event or just surfaced from nowhere, fear imprisons us.

Disarming fear and the power it has in our lives, the control it takes from us, this is one reason we follow the advice of Old Timers and write out a Fears Inventory after our Resentments Inventory.

How to document

Self-esteem, Security, Ambitions, Personal Relations or Sex Relations are some of the umbrella areas of our lives that are affected. Keeping it simple is my motto, so I use only the above 5. This is what the original AA groups used, as well.

Fear is a jail warden.

keeping me locked into inaction
tying me up with feeling sorry for myself
weighing me down with dread
pouring anxiety into my system
tiring me out with hyper-vigilance

Here are questions to help you discover how fear might affect your life:

What have I never done that I always dreamed of doing?
What do I repeat that I wish I could stop doing?
What do I exaggerate or minimize because to tell the truth about it would be too scary?
What action do I avoid because I dread the opinion of other people?

Why do this?

Fear silently gets a stranglehold in areas of our lives. If it’s fear that is locking us up, we must be rid of it or our lives stagnate. Take a look at someone you respect. Is fear running their life? My guess is… no. Take a chance, live your life!